7 Incredible Tips to Teach Kids the Art of Self-Discipline

 7 Incredible Tips to Teach Kids the Art of Self-Discipline

Monica Hoss
Psychotherapist
MSc Psychology 

As a parent, you want your child to succeed not just academically, but emotionally and socially as well. One of the most important skills that will serve them throughout their lives is self-discipline, not punishment. Whether it’s managing their emotions, sticking to a routine, or making thoughtful decisions, self-discipline helps children build resilience and achieve their goals. 

But how can you, as a parent, foster this critical trait in your child? It’s not always easy, but with the right guidance, you can teach them the art of self-discipline in ways that feel natural and supportive. Here are seven incredible tips to help your child develop self-discipline:

1. Model Self-Discipline Yourself

Kids are keen observers, and they learn by watching their parents. If you want your child to develop self-discipline, it’s crucial to model it in your own life. Whether it's sticking to a routine, managing your emotions, or focusing on a task despite distractions, your behavior teaches them more than words ever will.

Tip: Practice patience and consistency in your own life. For instance, if you promise to do something, follow through. Demonstrating commitment shows your child the value of self-discipline.

2. Set Clear and Realistic Expectations

Children need clear guidelines to understand what’s expected of them. It’s important to set achievable goals that match their developmental stage. When they know what’s expected, they can work towards it without feeling overwhelmed.

Tip: Break down tasks into smaller steps. For example, instead of saying, “Clean your room,” try “Pick up your toys first, then make your bed.” This helps them focus on one thing at a time, building a sense of accomplishment with each step.

3. Encourage Delayed Gratification

In a world full of instant rewards, teaching kids to wait for a reward can be one of the most valuable lessons. Delayed gratification is a way that helps children develop their patience and perseverance. However, don't be hard on kids

Tip: Use simple rewards systems, like waiting until after breakfast or earning extra time family game. Praise their patience and effort, emphasizing how the reward feels even better after they've worked for it.

4. Foster Problem-Solving Skills

Self-discipline isn’t just about following rules, it’s about thinking critically and making good decisions. Encourage your child to think through problems and possible solutions rather than telling them what to do every time.

Tip: Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think we should do next?” or “What could you do differently to solve this problem?” This promotes independent thinking and reinforces the idea that they are in control of their actions.

5. Use Positive Reinforcement

Praise and encouragement go a long way in reinforcing self-discipline. When your child demonstrates self-control or sticks to a task, acknowledge their effort. Positive reinforcement encourages them to continue  these behaviors.

Tip: Instead of just focusing on the outcome (like finishing homework), praise the process: “I really appreciate how you stayed focused and didn’t get distracted while working on your homework.” This teaches kids to value effort over immediate results.

6. Creating Consistent Routines

A structured routine helps children understand that discipline is part of their daily life. When children know what to expect, they feel secure and are more likely to stick to the plan.

Tip: Build consistent routines for daily activities like bedtime, homework time, and meals. The predictability of a schedule helps your child feel more in control and less likely to resist tasks.

7. Teach The importance of responsibility

Self-discipline goes hand in hand with responsibility. Encourage your child to take ownership of their actions, whether it’s completing their chores or managing their time wisely.

Tip: Give them age-appropriate responsibilities, like setting the table or packing their backpack. When children feel responsible for their actions, they develop an internal sense of discipline.

Final Thoughts: Empowering Your Child for Success

Teaching self-discipline takes time, patience, and consistency, but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. As they grow, self-discipline will help them make thoughtful decisions, manage stress, and overcome challenges. By modeling these behaviors, setting realistic expectations, and reinforcing positive actions, you empower them to take control of their lives.

Remember, self-discipline isn’t about perfection, it’s about progress. Celebrate small victories along the way, and always offer guidance with love and understanding. The more you invest in nurturing this trait, the more your child will thrive, both now and in the future.

Monica Hoss
Psychotherapist
MSc Psychology 

Individual, Couple/ Family Therapist, and supervisor.

Website: https://www.calm-therapy.net/

Online & Face -to -Face Therapy sessions
calmtherapy14@gmail.com

Best of luck, Cheers,

A supervisor and Fellow registered member of  The ACCPH here

Member ID #2822
Level: Fellow Accredited Member

Why Should You Not Punish Children?

Have you ever seen, heard or read about children's punishment? Definitely, bitter feelings you have had. When I read in    Yahoo that a mother was filmed dragging her daughter by her hair and smacking her repeatedly, my heart goes with that little girl and her feelings of suffering, pain and unsafe. Unfortunately, she wasn't the first and she won't be the last! But I wish this article helps children around the world to feel safe in their homes. In this article you will read about what is punishment, physical and emotional types of punishment, what should you not punish children, and how to teach kids without punishment.

                                   According to Standard, Sara Sharif's father confessed to                                            killing 10-year-old in 'punishment beating'. 

 

What Is Punishment?

Are you kind of parents or guardians to punish your kids?  This article will discuss the effects that punishment has on a child's mental health and development, as well as some tips for avoiding punishment.

Punishing is a long with agony, suffering, and pain. punishment is described as "suffering, agony, or loss that acts as retribution" or as "severe, hard or catastrophic treatment". Taking a punishment is defined in the Cambridge dictionary as being damaged because of rough treatment. Punishment is a rough method and it's not a fair manner. It seems some people (I wish not you) choose to punish their children to teach them!

            Why Should Not Punish Children?

Are you a parent who worries about how to teach your kids discipline? If so, I like to tell you that punishment doesn't work. Values you're trying to install in your children would not be possible with suffering and pain which stay in their minds, and consequently, in their whole life. It is important to be aware of the potential effects that punishing children can have. Punishment is disastrous and has negative impacts on a child’s mental health. Furthermore, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt, and worthlessness. If punishment is used excessively, it can damage a child’s sense of self-esteem and cause them to develop behavioral problems. Punishment is ineffective in correcting kids' behavior and is not a way to grow or learn. Additionally, punishment harms kids emotionally and physically. Besides, the unexpected effects of punishment have negative effects on a child's self-esteem & social skills. 

It is not recommended any type of punishments. Verbal punishment to regulate or correct behaviour that causes emotional pain can be irritating, belligerent, and detrimental to kids in the long run. According to a study, verbal reprimand is a kind of punishment, too. And has its destructive effects. Furthermore, verbal punishment can lead to misbehavior, lying, stealing, or fighting.

Punishment has negative effects on a child's mental health. It is not recommended and should not be used in rare or extreme circumstances. It is important to remember that punishment should not be used as a treatment method. If your kid feels that they are being constantly punished for their actions, they may start to rebel against authority figures and refuse to listen to rules or directions. Additionally, punishment can also lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity in children. If a child is constantly being told that they are bad or that they have done something wrong, they may start to believe that they are truly unworthy or undeserving of love and approval. Finally, punishment can also lead to physical aggression in your kids. If a child is constantly being hit or spanked as a form of punishment, they may start to believe that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems or get what they want. It is important to be aware of these potential effects before deciding.

 

   How To Teach Kids Without Punishment?

Regardless of the methods, one of the most common effects of punishment is that it can lead children to resentment and defiance. It is important to make the right decision even when you're angry. Be cool and kind.

Try to tell your child what they did is not right, why it is not acceptable, and help them to understand the consequences of their actions. It's vital to show them that they are good enough and be loved even in the worst situations. They must know that you don't like their action at that time, not their character. This can be effective for kids. The goal is to allow children to grow, learn, and reflect on their behaviour.

The more rewards the children receive for righteousness, the more motivated they are to have good manners. Kids like to have feelings of merit and worthiness. And these do not happen by punishment. It would be more effective if you praise good behavior and reward kids for their efforts. Besides, try to have a consistent and fair manner with clear rules that are explained to kids. Handling disciplinary challenges with positive reinforcement can be a good alternative to any kind of punishment. For example, if you like to teach them to tidy their whole room, reinforce them for part of the tidiness they have done. Reinforcement is not need to be big as buying something. It can be a sign of praising as verbally, or your body language as a smile, eye contact, etc.

 

It is important to make sure kids understand what they did right or wrong. Ultimately, the goal of reinforcement is to teach kids to make better choices and to help them develop into responsible and respectful adults. Remember a good society is a collection of good people and a family is a small society. A good society is a place where everyone has the opportunity to reach their potential and make a meaningful life. 

Everyday With Psychology is here to help you. Send me an email right away to begin your journey of self-discovery.

Best of luck, Cheers,

How to Improve Children's Mental Health?

 

Let's see today as an opportunity to support more children's mental health. Agree? Let's go! 

Image: Unsplash

Why Is Children's Mental Health Important?

We all love to see cheerful happy laughing children, playing with no 

fears of problems.This is their right to live, happily without 

receiving any threats. 

Generally, children are full of wishes and dreams! You heard a lot from 

them about their dreams. It gives you a sence of flow of life.

These pleasing, dreams and wishes will affect their better future life. 

On the other hand, unsolved childhood trauma has had negative 

impacts on people's life during adulthood 

as individuals, families, friends, couples, parents, or 

co-workers. Besides, 50% of lifetime mental illnesses 

begin by age 14, and 75% of them emerge by age 24. Therefore, 

many people have to spend their lifetime trying to forget a part of 

their unpleasant childhood. In other words, they feel that they are 

deprived  of having a calm peaceful life. 

 How To Know If Your Children 

Have Mental Issues?

Children's mental issues have been in crisis for

 years. Additionally, by COVID19 and the pandemic many 

folks, girls and boys had to stay home. Consequently, it

caused more mental illnesses. 1 in 6 of children 

and young people have mental problems. These diagnosed 

mental health issues, and more undiagnosed 

mental illnesses struggle with different challenges.  

Remember, sometimes silent children have unillustrated

thoughts, so you can not be quite sure that 

quiet children have no emotional issues! Children are aware of 

how they're perceived by others 

and it would affect on their beliefs about themselves. 

It is important for parents to know indicating sources of 

mental issues. For example, a stressful situation for 

children or adolescents is more likely to be expressed by 

negative things about themselves as “No one likes 

me”. 

Other mental issues symptoms among children can be showed as:

• Negative behaviors such as anger or sadness.  

• Don't enjoy the company of their own age.

• Feeling socially isolated.

•  Poor school performance.

How to Improve Children's Mental Health?

You as educators, teachers, parents, and adults can form a 

reasonable shape of future for them, and their progress must be

valued in compare to themselves. You can create an atmosphere

to see more grown happier committed people in the future.

The future would be more peaceful if children are practiced

moral virtue as honesty, self-control, liberality, courage,

compassion, fidelity, fairness, and prudence. 

Aristotle defined moral virtue as a disposition to behave in 

the right manner and as a mean between extremes of deficiency

and excess, which are vices. 

Network with your children's friends and their parents, 

or school staff can come to know more about your children.

Children must have an atmosphere to talk to somebody. 

Listen to them kindly. When you listen to them remember 

to  have a smile and eye contact. Don't forget to show your interest.

Take them serious whatever they're saying about their 

wishes or feelings. Show them you understand their feelings.

Show them they're accepted by you. Show them your support. 

Image: Unsplash

Finally,  parents, guardians, and adults with more knowledge and

skills about children's mental health would be more present at the right 

time to prevent bigger issues. keep in mind that children can

get depression. Seek for professional help as psychologists to cure  

burnout children.

I'm here to help you heal and turn your pain into gain. 

You are not alone in this journey to feel calm, hope and power. 

Send me an email right away to begin your well-being journey.

email:counselling.calm@gmail.com

Best of luck, Cheers,